If you've only read one Barry Trotter book, you might as well read the others. You've already suffered the brain damage. (In fact, why not buy the box set?) If youíd like to read the first chapter of each of the books, youíll have to download the free Adobe Acrobat Reader, available here. Also, I've linked to online booksellers where they are available; new foreign editions will be added to the list as they are published.

Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody

(also published as Barry Trotter and the Unauthorized Parody)

Hogwash School for Wizardry and Witchcrap is the most famous school in the wizarding world and Barry Trotter is its most famous pupil. It's been that way ever since J.G. Rollins' Barry Trotter and the Philosopher's Scone broke publishing records worldwide.

So important has Barry become to the school's bottom-line that it has been agreed that he can stay at Hogwash for as long as he likes. Barry Trotter is 22.

Groupie-laden and scholarship-free, life has been good for the perpetual student, but now disaster looms. The Barry Trotter and the Inevitable Attempt to Cash-In has gone into production and the Marketing Dept. at Wagner Bros. is going into overdrive. Hogwash will be submerged under a tide of souvenir-crazed Muddle fans, torn apart and sold on eBuy, stone by mossy stone.

The movie must be stopped. Forget Lord Valumart--Barry, Ermine Cringer and Lon Measly must try to defeat the most powerful force of grasping sleazoids the world has ever known: Hollywood.

Read the first chapter.

Buy the book:

US

UK

Other editions: Australia, Germany, Japan, Spain, Sweden, Portugal, Russia, China, Taiwan, Brazil, Estonia, Korea (coming soon!), France (coming soon!), Finland (coming soon!).

Barry Trotter and the Unnecessary Sequel

Like a chronic skin condition, the world's most irritating wizard is back! Barry Trotter, now 38 (going on 11), has returned to the Hogwash School for Wizardry and Witchcrap. He and his wife, Ermine Cringer, are there to deposit their Muddle-loving son Nigel, 11 (going on 38), and about as magical as a plastic fork.

            Just as Barry and Ermine are set to leave, Headmister Dorco Malfeasance dies. Who did it? Who cares--nobody much liked Dorco anyway. Barry and Ermine are installed as interim heads of the School, and kick off a carnival of arrested development. But then, in the sort of plot twist that could only happen in a cheap novel designed to leech off a massive pop culture phenomenon, Barry develops youthenasia. He begins a steady march backwards in age--and reliving the horrors of adolescence (including the Acne of Fire) may not be the end of itÖ

            Suddenly, solving the mystery becomes a matter of Life and Death. Do they suspect Snipe, as usual, only to find out Lord Valumart's behind it? Everyone's a suspect--which means all your favorite characters are back for another round of abuse. Barry, Ermine, and the dog-brained manchild Lon Measly must find the murdererÖor fill 336 pages trying!

Read the first chapter.

Buy the book:

US

UK

Other editions: Australia, Germany, Japan, Russia, Taiwan, Korea (coming soon!), France (coming soon!), Finland (coming soon!).

(By the way, I don't know why there's a big space below this sentence. Since The Internet seems to want it, I suggest thinking of it as a cool, refreshing pause for your eyes.)

Barry Trotter and the Dead Horse

Barry Trotter is pretty disreputable and unpleasant. And he smells. Imagine what he was like when he was a kid.

           Well, imagine no longer! Due to the arrival of an unexpected tax bill on the author's doormat and a completely absurd plot device, now you can meet Barry and all the rest when they were still spot-ravaged, hyperactive newcomers at Hogwash.

            Here are the answers to all the questions we fondly imagine have been keeping you up nights: Did Barry and Ermine do it? (Their homework that is. What did you think we meant? Ohh that's disgusting! You people should be ashamed!) How exacctly did Lon end up with a hole in his head that whistles when the wind blows? Was Lord Valumart always that crass? Bumblemore always that seedy?

            This exclusive edition also includes: Alarmingly sexy oversized Roman Goddesses (Parental advisory. Your dad at least will want to study that bit very carefully before letting you read it)! A scene in which Barry gets to first base with an actual GIRL (Parental advisory)! A waiting room of the living dead (Parental advisory. Well actually that bit's nowhere near as gross as it sounds but if we put 'Parental Advisory' next to it you're more likely to buy the book)!

Read the first chapter.

Buy the book:

UK

Or buy the box set and get all three for the price of three! CAN YOU HANDLE IT?